moments

always and forever

being a summer aide

This summer I decided to change jobs before I left for school again. With that decision, I had to say goodbye to all the lovely people at the movie theater and start on a new adventure somewhere familiar. I got a job at a place very close to my heart, the Ocean Institute in Dana Point. I have been involved there for the past 6 years, volunteering and as staff. I have always enjoyed my times spent at OI so I wanted to work there again for the summer. I got hired as a summer aide for OI summer camps. Let me tell you this, it was not what I was expecting.


It is not a usual summer camp with games and time fillers. This camp is a place to learn while still enjoying yourself. The instructors and leaders care so much about educating these kids, it's amazing to see. It has been 11 weeks of constant Monday through Friday, labs, boat rides, field trips, different characters of kids, and the constant uncertainty of the tides. But I have loved every minute of it.


I have never worked with kids quite like this, so it has been both a challenge and a blessing. I have been able to see the difference in kids, from age, family, and their personalities. I feel like I have grown a lot having to talk with them, teach them, and deal with the conflicts that arise. I am proud of myself, because in all honesty, I never thought I would have to do something like this.

I have always learned so much from the people around me. All of the instructors have gone to school and this is what they want to do. It was such an eye opening experience for me to be able to see these people, a lot still very young, doing something they love. Yes, there were times when they needed to escape the constant questions or the misbehaving kids, but that comes with the territory. To me, seeing them teach these kids things that they didn't know and see the light bulb turn on in the kids eyes, it made me smile and happy to know that maybe one day I could do the same.



Now I am entering my last week as a summer aide, and I have to say, these weeks have flown by too fast. I can't believe its over, I don't want it to be. But it has given me hope and something to work towards. I have grown a lot in my own knowledge, learning what I am capable of, and my confidence. I hope that I am able to work with these summer camps next year, I am already looking forward to it.

My Regal Days

I worked at Regal for a year and a half. I saw huge openings for Iron Man 2, Eclipse, Despicable Me, Inception, Black Swan, Toy Story 3, and Part 1 of the final Harry Potter. ( I loved being Hermione!! ) I also worked some lovely midnights that sold 15 tickets, Get him to the Greek. I saw thousands and thousands of customers on a good day, and hundreds, maybe, on a slow day. Being the Lobby person on Christmas will be something I will never forget. I never really lost my love for popcorn like so many people say they do when they work at a theater. But I did get tons of paper cuts before they changed the boxes. And I learned to count money 10 different ways, and still tend to get the wrong amount after 3 tries, but always be even.


I don't really miss the work, and I don't really miss the customers. I do however very much miss the people! You go to work, 3-5 days a week, and  you see the same people, and they become a part of you whether you like it or not. I had some of the best employees, I should say friends, at the theater! The jokes, the funny faces, the stories... There is nothing better! I would've had to quit eventually due to the fact that I am moving, but I wish I could have worked through the summer. But I do like the fact that I can still go and visit, and can now be 'facebook friends' with the managers :P 


Regal gave me something that I hadn't had in a while. It gave me Hope. Yes, weird, I know. But I enjoyed working with my employees and it makes me smile that even though there were crazy days at the theater when you didn't get a break until your 5 hour and people were frustrated with the poppers not popping fast enough and running out of large tubs when suddenly everyone wanted to upsize, that you had conversations that make your day great, and could even change your life. 


I just wanted to get the point across that I love my Regal employees and friends, and I miss you all! 

in an instant

eyes flitter open

to the world unknown to many. 

things go spinning, 

lights strobe in the distance. 

in an instant its all new

this unimaginable world.

shaking commences

numbness over takes

but a smile crosses the face. 

there is nothing more,

nothing else. 

piercing starbursts into the soul.

heart beats louder, faster, stronger.

you know you are home. 

wanting the dream of a promise as soon as possible

I have never been so sure  of something in my life. You know that feeling when you are positive about something, and you want that something to happen as soon as possible. Well, that's where I stand in my life at the moment. I know it hasn't been that long, and many people think its crazy... But when you know, you know. I know age, school, jobs, money, location, time, family, and reality are huge road blocks or concerns at the moment, but I just wish it was simple. Plans are discussed, and as much as we want our dreams to become reality, we know it'll take some time... too much time in my head. But that's who I am, I am a dreamer. I truly wish things were simple. I am really scared about this next year, and what will actually happen compared to ones goals and plans. It would be so wonderful if everything would just work out, but I am not going to get my hopes up. I am so excited for the future, for it, one day, will be the happiest moments of my life. I will be looking at someone I love with my whole heart, promising my heart and forever to him. And after that, we will have our whole lives; the good days, the bad days, the cold and warm, the planned and the unexpected. With everything I am, I wish it were happening this summer, or even the next... But I will wait, even though with every minute that goes by I grow more scared, for I love him more than anything.

the future...

smile for today :)

So it is March 30, 2011. My life is complicated and simple. I have school, work, family, friends, boyfriend, and live in an amazing and beautiful place. School is finishing up in a little over a month. I am so excited to finish up at Saddleback. I am looking forward to going to Oregon State, a lot. But I truly wish I did not  have to leave to attend. I can't imagine myself leaving Orange County again. Last time I was so homesick that I moved home. I know that I have to finish school, get an education, a degree, and then go off to my career... but I really don't want to leave. I know that Oregon has everything a college could offer, seeing as I was there for a year. Beautiful environment, nice dorms, good class sizes, my favorite weather, and friends, but it is in another state, like a thousand miles away. As each day passes, I grow in anticipation. I feel I am more ready now to take on my classes, fully commit, and finish school so I can move on with my life. I guess OSU is where I belong. I definitely feel at home there. But my heart lies somewhere else, with someone else. Leaving is going to be so hard. Leaving my family, William, my friends... I don't want to face it in 6 months time. But as a human being, I must accept the changes and grow. My future in my head is planned with dotted lines that I want to make bold and thick. But I can't, yet. I need to get an education, a degree, a life. I can not wait for the day that I can walk down the aisle and start that part of my life, it is all I really want. I want a family and a home and a future where I smile every morning because I am so happy. In my head it all starts in the summer of 2012, but I know it will take more time. I am afraid that with time, things are less likely to happen. Time makes me scared. But I will wait, because it is worth waiting for. As for now, I am looking forward to school, but more looking forward to the visits home. I don't know where I am going to live after I graduate or when I will visit if I live in a different county, state, or country... But I know here is where my home is. Time will pass, just like every minute goes by, so I am looking forward to tomorrow, and the next day, putting a smile on my face and looking forward for what is to come.

blahh

You know what's annoying, when things don't happen the way they are supposed to. You say something, you do it. You have a specific date and time, you meet it. You follow up with what you say and that what makes you accountable.